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Meredith Atkins

Meredith on Episode 5: Cabin Fever

I call this our breakthrough episode.  Cabin fever has definitely set in and we are all feeling like we need to do something different.  In true Adkins style, whatever we come up with is always out of the box.  Sinbad discovers his alternate personality, Memphis Red, who to this day has me a bit concerned.  Royce decides he wants to fight overseas until he realizes a little more training might be in order. I end up on a gun range, which I find truly exhilarating but freaks Sinbad out and Paige has us all flying through the air on a trapeze which, unfortunately, didn’t turn out so good for me.

I don’t know why I had such trouble with the trapeze.  The last time our family did something like this we were jumping from a plane at 18,000 ft.  But, nevertheless, from the moment I hit the ladder, I knew it was going to be bad.  There were so so many signs.  The first sign was the ladder itself.  It shook and rattled with every step I took.  I felt like the wind could have blown us both over but I had to climb it to get up to the top.  Then there was the plank. I made it to the top only to find a very thin plank not much wider than my own foot.  I sucked it up simply for pride sake, took a deep breath and maneuvered myself onto the plank praying, praying, PRAYING, my backside didn’t tip my weight in the wrong direction.  I finally made it into position to jump and realized I had to lean over in mid air and grab onto the trapeze bar.  The only thing holding me back was a complete stranger young enough to be my son. Now, to me, this felt like I was leaning over the edge of a building with nothing to catch me but the sidewalk below!

My mind was scrambling trying to process everything but it was pretty clear I had already psyched myself out.  Whatever was to follow from that point on was anybody’s guess.  Everything I had done up to this point was exactly what Ray, our instructor, had told me not to do.  As a result, I chickened out on the flip.  My body went through the motions, I heard voices from below or maybe just in my head telling me to let go, but as you saw, it just didn’t happen. I didn’t trust it.  Now some may say, namely my family, I didn’t let go because I have control issues. I beg to differ!  I didn’t let go because I didn’t think I was going to make the turn!

Overall, looking back on it now, I don’t think it was a total wash.  If you focus on the small yet significant successes I had that morning, you might find a few victories. I made it up that rickety ladder, I walked the plank, so to speak, and I swung through the air like a pro. (Okay, maybe not a pro, how about we keep it positive and go with semi-pro)  Not too bad at all.