What's Up Chuck

I Used to Be a Man Whore

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True love can make you do anything...even change some of your beloved bad habits.

By Chuck Nice

In my last entry I talked about how the title character in the movie You Don't Mess With the Zohan and I had two life similarities. The first was that Zohan left his job and his home to move to New York City and pursue a career as a hair stylist. I did the same to chase my dream of being a professional comic. The second was that Zohan, an Israeli Mossad (secret service) agent, fell in love with Dalia, the Palestinian owner of the salon where he works. I don't think I have to tell you that Israeli-Palestinian love affairs may pose some rigorous challenges; I would compare it to trying to find a Chinese-to-English dictionary in the mountains of Guadalajara. More interestingly, Zohan falls deeply in love with Dalia despite his cavalier attitude toward sex and women. You see, he's a man whore, and even though he's a lousy stylist, he's immensely popular because he sleeps with his clients and they're all over 60. He gives each one of his clients the exact same hairstyle, but then finishes his service with a good old fashioned rogering; maybe that's why I see so many old ladies with blue hair...cut in the same style.

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Living with Zohan

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An Adam Sandler movie makes Chuck reflect on what pushed him to follow his dreams.

By Chuck Nice

I'm not a huge fan of Adam Sandler, although I think he is exceptionally talented. That may sound like a contradiction, but his movies just don't make me laugh, although I do admire his work and accomplishments as a comic. So I was very surprised to find Don't Mess With the Zohan to be a funny and entertaining movie that made me laugh, despite the fact that I was prejudiced before I ever entered the theater. I was also surprised to find that the two central themes in the movie hit really close to home: Follow your dream no matter how silly others may believe it to be, and when your Jewish son brings home a smoking hot Palestinian girl, be happy for him.

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Purple Haze

Chuck_Nice_152_130.jpgChuck's wife insists that he sit and watch The Color Purple over and over again.

By Chuck Nice

Every woman has a deal breaker when it comes to relationships. Maybe it's love me, love my cat, or love me, love my child, or love me, love the fact that I'm into all five incarnations of Star Trek--including Star Trek Enterprise--even though it's not that good. Okay, the last example is my own little idiosyncrasy. Regardless of the passion or interest, even if it's not an actual deal breaker, there is something we all love and that we want our mate to love as well. That brings us to my wife's favorite movie, The Color Purple.

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Neighbors- I Can Live Without Them!

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Chuck's argument for why there is no need to be friends with your neighbors.

By Chuck Nice

Anyone who has children knows that there will be times when you are forced to watch movies that you know you will hate. So when my daughter asked me to watch Deck the Halls (with Danny DeVito and Mathew Broderick), I chalked it up to discharging my paternal duties. The worst part of accommodating your child's viewing choices is that they can never reciprocate. It's not like I can ask my little girl to sit down and enjoy an evening of There Will Be Blood unless I want my wife to make me a living version of the title. If you have children, then you know that Hollywood annually releases a number of movies that you'll have to see because you'll quickly grow tired of hearing "Please, Daddy, please can we see the movie." I'm just grateful that I got to watch it on DVD instead of schlepping my way to a theater and losing two hours of my life that I would never get back. The cool thing about watching this film was I got a chance to spend time with my baby girl and I get to relate it to my life through this blog. I looked for other reasons, but I've flushed better things than this movie.

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My Money Pit

I have a new home and that means spending money.

By Chuck Nice

SO I'm going through my DVD collection (most of which are films sent to me by WE tv) and I come across Money Pit, starring Tom Hanks & Shelly Long.  I was surprised to find out that my wife loves the movie, so we popped it in the player and watched. If you don't know the plot here it is: A NYC couple decides to leave their chic, cosmopolitan existence for the romantic innocence of the countryside. They do so because they think they have found a tremendous deal on a beautiful home. Needless to say the title betrays the rest of the film; the home turns out to be a money pit and their mistake leads to the demise of their relationship. The movie ends with the couple doing the happily ever after thing... provided they don't ever have kids. Okay, I added the part about the kids because let's face it--if your relationship can't handle a home renovation, there's no way in shady Haiti it can handle children. So what does this have to do with my life, since the purpose of this blog is to relate my life to movies? Well I just bought a house; and it needs a lot of work, including: a new kitchen, new roof, two new baths, new front porch, 10 new windows, new flooring and mold remediation.

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So, What's Wrong With a Man-Date Anyway?

As if it wasn't bad enough that I was on a man-date--we went to see a chick flick!

I have realized two important things about writing this blog that I had not previously considered: 1) I am a fiercely private person and 2) I don't go to the movies. Talk about thinking things through--so what the hell am I going to write about? I haven't been to the movies in about a year, excluding the kid movies that I'm obligated to see with my daughter. Don't get me wrong, I love going to the movies with my daughter and I certainly don't want her to end up dating some "jerkwad" because Daddy didn't take her to the latest Pixar plot to empty my pocket. But there's no way in hell I would go to see Alvin & the Chipmunks of my own free will; it would be weird and creepy, like the lone male adult who sat in the back row while my daughter and enjoyed that movie. I kept looking over my shoulder and wondering what the hell was a grown man doing alone in a theater watching a kid's movie... freak. So the good thing about this blog is that I have to go and see movies, the bad thing is that I have to talk about them as they pertain to my life. So this past weekend I went to the movies.

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Chuck Nice Finally Has a Blog!

See what stand-up comedian Chuck Nice has to say about his new blog for WEtv.com

Chuck-Nice-152-130.jpgWow! I can't tell you how excited I am to be writing a blog for WEtv.com; I've been working with WE tv for five years and it's been an absolute blast. Many of you know me as the host of Cinematherapy, a show where I play a mock therapist traveling the streets of New York City with a mobile office (including a blow-up couch), encouraging women to share their life experiences with me as related to themes we find in a movie. It's kind of like In Treatment but with real women and minus the smolderingly sexy therapist played by Gabriel Byrne. Look, I'll give you that he's much sexier than me, but I'd like to see him make therapy funny. Ha! Take that sexy Gabriel (I just showed him).

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