Hello everyone!
Thank you for continuing to write in with your questions. I am constantly enlightened by your stories and creative ideas, you all truly never run out and I love to hear them. I hope you are able to use some of these “Tutera Tips” and also learn from other brides’ experiences and inquiries too.
I am thrilled that a new cast of brides is in the process of being chosen, happening right now. If your wedding is coming up this spring season, contact mfw@pilgrimfilms.tv and apply to be the next MFW bride. Perhaps I’ll see you asking some of these questions in person the next time!
Please keep sending your great stories and questions!
Happy wedding planning,
David
Post: My name is Tamika, and I’m getting married August 15, 2009. I just want to tell you how much I love your show. You have given me so many wonderful ideas. I have never planned any events other than my two children’s birthday parties 
. I have my venus and my color scheme and dont know what to do now HELP ME .
From: By tamikaw on January 1, 2009 7:48 PM
Thank you so much. Congratulations on your engagement! Well, you are off to a great start. You need to next find your photographer and your entertainment: those are your next two priorities to your wedding planning. Once those are done, then you can move onto your decor (flowers). Don’t feel you have to accomplish everything at once! I want you to enjoy the wedding planning process and doing things in stages will allow for you to have fun.
Post: If you are using in your wedding Chocolate brown and Ivory is it ok to mix the types of Chocolate brown? Like for instance a shinny fabric and a matte fabric or should they all be the same?
From: Gina
Chocolate Brown and ivory are a great combination. You can also add in a khaki color too for some depth. And yes, it’s okay to mix and match finishes–in fact, it’s another great way to add texture and layering! I love if a table’s under cloth is shiny fabric with the overlay being a matte. Have some fun with color tones and fabrics.
Post: I just got engaged and have always wanted a Tuscan themed wedding. My fiancé and I are of Italian decent and it would have great meaning to the both of us to be able to incorporate that into our special day. What are some décor ideas that would make it unique? We are from New York and although it isn’t booked yet we are looking to have our reception at the Waldorf Astoria. I also wanted to incorporate the theme into my shower and bachlorette party. What are your suggestions?
From: Angela
I have had the wonderful opportunity to do weddings in Italy, specifically in the Tuscan region. It’s all about earth tones and sunset colors. For design ideas, play up the style of wine and grapes. Use wine corks as place card holders, along with grapes in abundance on the table. Sunflowers are seen throughout Tuscany and they make a great design statement. The head of a sunflower placed in the center of dinner plate is a great look, as well as sunflowers down the middle of a long table. I love to use old wine bottles to display candles: use the mouth of the bottle as a candle holder.
You can make this look appear as casual or as elegant as you like. The best bit of advice I can share with you is that you should use these items in abundance. Another great concept is to have your parties leading up to the wedding celebration be warm and earthy, and then have your wedding in all white with hints of cream and khaki.
Post: My wedding is in October and I need some ideas for centerpieces. My colors are chocolate and white. I would like to use Hydrangeas but what other flowers can I use? Please help!!
From: Elsa
Chocolate is a hard color in flowers. There are some wonderful roses that come in “khaki” and another rose called “Sahara”: both are hued roses that I love! You can use cymbidium brown orchids. Brown cosmos are wonderful to use as are brown mini gerbera daisies. Calla lilies can be rust in color, and one is even called “hot chocolate,” too!
Post: Hi, David I love your show ,Well I wanted to ask you a question Im getting married on 10/09 .Im planning to cut cost by making my own flower center piece, do you think is a good idea? we been together since we were 19 and now we are in the 30″s,with 2 kids. we need to cut cause the venue is WESCHESTER MANOR .its ok but we dont have a wedding coordinator, so Figure you can give us great advised on where we can cut cost.
From: MenayNY
Well, flowers do add up fast and this is an area where you can save! How about using floating flowers in water, with candles surrounding the vase? Add numerous votive candles, rose heads and flower petals. It’s a great–and very affordable–look. You can also host a lengthened cocktail party to save money versus a throwing a big sit-down dinner party. I love this approach; it’s more fun and unique, and guests truly have a great time. Other ways to save: Have a “fake cake” designed, where just the top is real cake to cut into (have a sheet cake in the kitchen to be sliced and served.) Hope this helps a bit!
Post: Hi, I have recently started watching your show “My Fair Wedding” (Love It) and I have gotten some really good ideas, the problem is (among others) I have no idea where to start with renting anything, and I have a small budget. The wedding is May 16th 2009. We are planning on having a outside ceremony, and inside reception/dance. I could use your help. Thanks!
From: Alecia
Let’s see if I can shed some light on your questions. “Renting” can mean just about everything and anything for your wedding. First, find out what the venue does and doesn’t have. Do they provide tables and chairs for both dinner and for your ceremony seating? (If not, that is where you begin!) Then, ask if they have all your table top needs: china, glassware, flatware, bar equipment, kitchen equipment, etc.
While most venues have everything you need, don’t assume! I always tell all my brides that if you are entering into a space that has nothing, re-think using that space as costs begin to add up when you have to rent everything yourself. As for an outdoor ceremony, you may want to consider renting an archway (from your florist), a platform to stand on so your guests can see you when you are married, and renting a sound system so you are heard. These are all potential rentals from various companies, so meet with the person that handles weddings at your venue to see if they can help guide you to quality vendors.
Post: Dear David: Hi I love your show and hope you will be able to give me some advice. My son and his fiancé’ are planning on getting married in October 2010. I plan on helping them with their wedding as much as I can. I need suggestions on how to make their wedding day as special as I can. My son is a paraplegic yet they would like to get married by the ocean ( they live on Cape Cod Ma) and have a reception at the same place. My son is so very much into music ( like his dad who passed away in 2000) so I contacted some bakers and never realized that a wedding cake in the shape of a drum set would be about a 1000.00 plus! It is so very expensive to have a nice ceremony and a reception. Do you have any ideas that would help me make it special? Another problem I encountered is that even though most places state they are handicapped accessible DOESN’T mean that they are handicapped convenient or useful ( meaning the bathrooms!) He belongs to a baseball team ( wheelchair team) so there will be about 10-12 people in wheelchairs so having a place that is truly accessible is of the utmost importance. I realize that you will probably not get to read this letter but I felt I should atleast try, right? If you can please try to help me. My son is such a good, kind, honest and the strongest person I know emotionally and I just want to make this day so memorable for him- I would appreciate any suggestions you might have. Thanks so much in advance- Gary’s mom. P.S Why not do a wedding on the Cape?? Hint hint
From: PB
I would love to do a wedding in The Cape. You are surrounded by such beauty in Cape Cod!! You are such a smart person because you are starting out already thinking of all the right things. A good hostess wants to make sure everyone is taken care of, so making sure there is proper wheelchair accessibility is key. NO one should ever feel uncomfortable. Go and check out all venues and make sure they meet your needs for this celebration both for your son, for his friends and for you. Also make sure that if you have bars or buffets, they are brought down a bit in height so Gary and his friends don’t feel like they are ever at a disadvantage. This is Gary and his fiancée’s day, and everything should be for them.
As for the cake: don’t spend $1,000 on a cake. I would rather you do something more unique, like a fantastic dessert station where all the sweets are fun and colorful and everyone can experience something sweet. You can also have a smaller cake created for the bride and groom to cut into so you have that special moment captured in your photographs (it will provide you that special moment while saving you some money, too.) Congratulations Gary!!!!
Post: Hi Mr. Tutera, My name is Tanikka Williams I am 27 years old, I would like to now how plan to a perfect wedding with a tight budget since my fiancé is the only income i was laid off ? I just would like for you to give me some good advice please. I see that you can help any body out in these problems. Thank you.
From: Tanikka
Don’t step into planning your special day stressed out! There are lots of easy steps you can take to cut costs. 1) You first need to begin by looking at what your potential guest list will add up to. That alone begins to inform you of how much your wedding will cost. 2) Having lots of people will add up to a higher budget for food, drink and service. If budgeting for all that food makes you lose your appetite, consider your options! A fun cocktail party that last three hours is less expensive then a full sit down dinner for five hours. Contrary to popular belief, a buffet is actually more money then a sit down dinner, simply because more food needs to be prepared for buffet stations. 3) A DJ is less expensive then a band, and your ipod playing through a sound system with your favorite music is the least expensive route to take for music.
Make sure you look at all the elements you need to cover first before stepping into any final decision when working on your wedding plans. You need to educate yourself on everything first, and then go back and decide what it is you truly want, need and can afford. Doing your budget is like putting a puzzle together, except you decide which piece you want to place down first once you have looked at the “overall picture” on the box. Have fun because that is what it is supposed to be….FUN!!!
Post: My Husband and I are going to celebrate our 25th wedding anniversary in September. I asked him to marry me again for this very special anniversary. We are going to renew our vows. Is it inappropriate to have another wedding? I would like to go all out and have the big wedding that I really did not get the first time. Mother and Mother in law had the wedding they wanted instead. At this time in my life I have been struggling with a chronic illness and have not been able to work for 2 years, so if it not inappropriate do you have any advise for me on how to do the wedding that I always wanted with a very limited budget? Any help is a blessing.
From: Maria, San Antonio, TX
I always share with my clients this piece if advice: In life, we already have too many rules, so when it comes time to celebrate, I simply say there are no rules! You are celebrating twenty-five years of marriage! That, first off, is reason to celebrate!! Now, treating this celebration as a wedding should make it twice as fabulous. You asked him to marry you again… I LOVE that! How sweet and how special. Please do me a favor and have the wedding you wished and dreamed for on whatever scale that is. If you want to wear white, go for it. If you want to carry a bouquet, carry one. If you want to go down the aisle, do it. You have many reasons to celebrate life, so go and celebrate, and let NO one tell you otherwise. I am very very excited for you. Enjoy!
Post: HOW DO YOU SUGGEST PICKING A WEDDING COORDINATOR? DO YOU KNOW OF ANY GOOD ONES IN TAMPA, FLORIDA?
From: Carey
Finding a great wedding planner is not as easy as it may sound. You MUST, MUST do your homework. Ask your venue contacts, ask friends and ask others that may have used a wedding planner to suggest. You must meet your planner, feel comfortable with them and make sure they understand you. You need to ask them for client recommendations as well. Bottom line, he/she may be a wonderful planner, but you must feel comfortable: They are going to become your new best friend!
Post: Hi David! I love what I see when I watch My Fair Wedding! I want to do lots of lighting at my wedding reception…kind of like what you did at the South Beach style wedding (the ceremony). My reception is outside, but much of the area I’m working with is covered. I was just wondering if you could give me some advice! Thanks so much!
From: Andrea
Lighting is such a wonderful element to add to your wedding. You should do a lot of up-lighting to cast warm glows of lights on trees, columns, walls, etc. This will allow for the space to truly have a warmer feeling that actually will also feel more intimate. Decide what you want people to see and what you don’t want people to see. It’s like smoke and mirrors: what you illuminate allows for other things to disappear. Your first priority is to make sure your ceremony area is washed with lights. Then, light your dance floor and your entertainment area too. If you have some additional money, your dining table should be lit as well. You will be so happy when you see the final outcome!
Post: Hi – My finance and I wanted to do a funny dance that we had seen on some wedding videos. They all seem to have the same music. Would you know how i could find the music to perform a funny dance. Thank you very much for your help.
From: Carmen R.
OK. NO NO NO funny dances at your wedding…sorry. I know watching someone else’s video may seem funny, but this is your wedding. Save the funny dance for another party at another time!
Post: Hello Mr. Tutera, I just got engaged last December. I am really excited about getting married, stressing a bit but happy. I am not a party planner at all but I would like to have memorable wedding. I was hoping that you can give me some insight. My fiancé and I have discussed when we would like to get married and because we are not able to spend too much, we decided to get married during off peak season, March 2010. Where I need advice? What color scheme do you suggest for that time of year? Also, can you suggest a list of vendors within my vicinity (New York City) that are not too expensive? I have an idea of the venue I want but nothing else. My fiancé is 35 and I am 32 years old.
From: Raquel & Alfonso
Congratulations! So color suggestions for March in the New York area… With the winter almost to an end in March, I would love you to use tons of color. “In” colors for 2010 will be lavender and purples, and I hope to see that happening with a touch of pink or white. Imagine stepping into a wedding with all lavender and white! There are wonderful flowering branches in white that look a bit like snow but feel like spring. Lavender flowers touches of deeper purples will lift the spirits of your guests and YOU, too. For vendors in the NYC area, first locate your venue then see what they provide and who they may recommend to collaborate with.
Post: Im planning a second wedding in Las Vegas for March. Some of my family will be there but others will be unable to attend so I have chosen a chapel that offers the live webcam viewing of the ceremony. Should I send invitations or announcements to friends and family that are not going to be there or should I just make phone calls or send emails? If I send invitations or announcements how would I word them. Thanks for all your help.
From: Julie
NO emails! This is your wedding, no matter if it’s your first or second, it should be the classiest of events!
Sending a actual paper invitation to attend your Las Vegas wedding celebration is great to inform guests of the date, time and location–and its okay to send invites to people even if you know they can’t attend, especially because you can also inform them how they can watch via Internet. As you do this though, keep in mind that you want everyone, near or far, to feel special. You can mention that everyone will feel like there are there with you whether in Las Vegas or watching from home.
Post: Good Morning, First of all I would like to say how much I like your show. My question involves having a shower for a co-worker. She’s concerned that since she’s not inviting everyone in the office to the wedding that perhaps we shouldn’t give her an office shower. Should there be a problem with an office shower? My other question is how did you get started with being a wedding planner?
From: JoAnna
It’s totally OK to have an office wedding shower, even if not everyone is invited to the actual wedding. In fact, it’s better to do it this way: With the office shower, the bride can feel like everyone at the office feels included in her special wedding in some way, shape or form. I would, however, make it known that everyone is not invited to the wedding and this is a way to include all co-workers in a unique and more fun environment to avoid putting the bride in an awkward position if others were to begin to assume.
I got started about 23 years ago when someone asked me to plan and design a party– I was accidentally introduced into this industry and feel in love with it! (Well, I do believe though that there are no accidents in life, and you just have to act on situations that are presented to you!) I fell in love with parties and taught myself everything step by step. There’s no education like first-hand experience through the years!
Post: Hello, My fiancé and I are going to a legal ceremony in Boston in March and then have a church wedding and reception in Ireland in August. I am at a loss as to what style of dress I should wear to the legal ceremony. It will most likely be cold out when we get married but I was thinking of trying to find a dress that I could wear at the legal ceremony and then again at some point when we are in Ireland.
Can you suggest what style dress is appropriate for a legal ceremony at a court house in cold Boston? Can you send me any pictures or a link to a designer’s site?
From: Beth
Your fashion for the court house should be simple and clean. A classic suit with a skirt in white or cream would be perfect. A beautiful long coat to keep you warm (and then to remove for the service) is what you should wear over it. Make sure you have a simple round bouquet to hold, and your groom can wear a coordinating flower on his lapel. For the celebration in Ireland, you can add a great wrap to your courthouse attire to add some elegance to it and make if feel a bit different. Congratulations!!!!
Post: Greetings David, I’m in the process of planning my parent’s 50th wedding anniversary, which will take place on May 30th of this year. Unfortunately, I have a really tight budget (about $5,000). Thankfully, the place in where we are to have the reception is free and includes tables and chairs. My siblings and I will be doing all the decor, from making our own table cloths to making our own center pieces. With that said, I’m in desperate need of some nice but inexpensive ideas for center pieces. We obviously want to have “gold” as the main color, but we also do not want to over-kill it.
From: Veronica
Your new best friend should be gold and copper spray paint. Also try to find gold Christmas ornaments and buy them in abundance for a very inexpensive price. Imagine lots of gold and copper ornaments on the tables to symbolize bubbles–think bubbles of champagne to toast this occasion. You can even get strands of fake plastic pearls and spray paint them as well. Serve gold-garnished champagne drinks. Gold table cloths, gold napkins and foliage sprayed gold to accent white flowers. Gilded candles will look fantastic too. The trick here is lots and lots of the gold, embellished with white for a wedding.
Post: Hi David, I got engaged over Thanksgiving and spent the majority of my Christmas trip to see my family looking at wedding sites and dresses. When I bought my dress I was originally excited. Now I’m having second thoughts. I was willing to suck it up and just settle until I watched the episode about Wanda and Burt’s wedding. I’m afraid I’ll have the same feeling Wanda did when she tried on her dress for you and wasn’t happy. You said in that show that its the most important garment a woman will ever wear. I’m afraid I bought my dress out of exhaustion. I was tired of hunting and driving for the dress that was “the one.” So I settled. It was also a size 12 that I tried on and I’m a size 2. So who knows what it will really look like on once I get it and then what if its too late! The icing on the cake….. my fiance is very very picky when it comes to style and likes simple, clean lines. I fear that he won’t like the dress. Basically, I think I’m just asking for your honest opinion of my dress. I trust you. All of your brides have looked flawless from the dresses you’ve chosen for them!
Do you mind looking at this link and giving me your honest opinion?
http://www.maggiesottero.com/dress.aspx?showAll=1&style=JD8102
From: Jessica
Hi Jessica! I just looked at your dress. It’s actually very, very pretty. It is elegant, simple and clean. I love the way the fabric swags to its side and the simple train along the back is wonderful. If you are having second thoughts, you should reconsider, but if you are looking for what you described, I love it for you. My bigger concern is you bought a size 12 and you are a size 2… That could be a problem! Who is doing all the alterations and how much are they charging you? You must find this out first and make sure you can get what you need done to it without compromising the design of the dress. Please make sure you are happy with the results! Good Luck!
Post: David, My name is Cassandra Thompson, my mom and I watch your show all the time and cant wait for the new season to start. I love all of your ideas!! I am starting to plan my wedding to my childhood sweetheart. I have known him since the fifth grade because we grew up next door to each other. Our ceremony and reception is going to be at his home because it has meaning to us because that is where we met for the first time. I want the wedding to be fun like the two of us yet formal and I am not sure how to make those things work together. I have asked other members of the family and they are not sure as well. I also love Gerber daisy’s! I love everything about them, especially the colors!! That’s the best! Do you think sticking to just two colors would be better then using many of them? I also thought of making all of my bouquets until I saw the episode of “My Fair Wedding” when you got a little upset about the bride using silk flower. Thanks for all of your help I really appreciate it and cant wait to hear what you have to say.
From: Cassandra
You are too sweet. Your note and the way you wrote to me is even sweet and fun! Gerber daisies are exactly what you say: fun and colorful. You can do two colors (and you can add a third, it’s definitely okay.) Gerber daisies come in two sizes too so you can have fun with that as well.
Bring out color in the flowers and in the tablecloths, and for your drinks–have them in matching colors as well. Have the color you choose seen first by your guests in your invitations to introduce your fun, festive personalities. Doing this will also create the mood to your wedding celebration.
You can also create each table to be one solid color. For example, have one table pink and another table orange. This makes your colorful look more elegant, rather than randomly mixing the colors. Your bouquets can be done the same way. (But please, NO silk flowers, please promise me, no fake flowers for your bouquets! You deserve real ones on your wedding day!)
Post: I’m having a Platinum wedding at the Oheka Castle in LI New York. I want a bling theme wedding … crystals everywhere! Any suggestions on decor, lighting, drapes, centerpieces, etc. Or any extra unique creative ideas that will fit with the theme? Any vendor recommendations?
From: Maria
I love Oheka Castle! Great choice. Please watch the wedding I just did for “Platinum Weddings” (also on WE tv). It’s all about “bling!” Bling tables, bling table cloths, faux diamonds in the flowers, dripping crystals over the dance floor… I have done many weddings there and they truly are magical. (In fact, I did a look at Oheka Castle with a ton of sparkle that you might love.) Make sure you decorate that arrival staircase–it’s a great place for flowers, candles, and of course–the bling we all love. Good luck!
