Studies show that animals have a calming, healing effect on the human psyche. But if you’re a pet lover, you already knew that. Pets provide companionship, protection, and of course love to any household, and the bonds they form with people are not easily broken.

For this reason, the days and weeks that follow a pet’s death can be excruciating for caregivers—every thought and memory causing pain, sadness and regret. Taking time to grieve is the best way to recover a happy outlook.

Focus on Your Feelings

Everyone deals with death in his or her own unique way, but any grieving process must begin with honest self-reflection. You could be feeling a range of emotions, like:

• Denial: Avoiding the reality of your loss
• Anger: Blaming others for the death
• Guilt: Blaming yourself
• Sadness: Sinking into a prolonged depression
• Peace: Accepting the life process and moving on

It may be easy to brush off your pet’s death as a trivial matter—or even easier to ignore it altogether—but if you avoid the natural, emotional grieving process, the pain will linger.

 

Learn to Cope

Outsiders do not easily understand or respect the bonds that develop between animals and their caretakers, so you may feel a lack of support while grieving over a lost pet. Therefore, it’s important that you (a) learn how to cope on your own and (b) seek the support of other pet lovers. By all means, avoid seeking consolation from people who don’t understand your grief.

Reach Out

As a pet-lover, you have many support options—including pet bereavement groups, humane societies and veterinarians—but start close to home. If you have children, help them through the grieving process. It’s important that they understand that it’s okay to be sad, angry and confused. Helping them cope could also help you.

If you have other pets, they will also sense the loss. Be sensitive to their needs, whether by giving them extra attention or including them in family occasions. Finally, consider reaching out to an online pet support group—an excellent way to reach hundreds of people who can share coping methods and experiences.

 

Remember Your Pet

Whether you decide to bury or cremate your pet, a special memorial service or goodbye ceremony—no matter how simple—can provide closure for everyone who loved the animal. After the gathering, consider these options for remembering your pet’s life:

• Create a shrine with photos, toys or mementos
• Plant a bush or tree in your pet’s memory
• Make a scrapbook with photos and stories
• Make a donation in your pet’s name to the local animal shelter
• Keep a journal of your evolving feelings

But Remember to Let Go

As you mourn, every little thing could remind you of your pet. You may find it easier to remove you’re his or her belongings from sight, e.g., toys, beds, blankets, bowls, leashes, scratching posts and cages. Either keep them tucked away in a closet, or donate them to the local animal shelter so that you know they’re being used for good.
 
Don’t Rush In

Pets bring so much love, affection and happiness to our lives that we often want to quickly fill the void when they die. Before you start visiting shelters and animal rescue groups again, take a little break. Whether your pet passed away due to illness, an accident or old age, set aside some time to think, feel and reflect on your own life. You may want to start a home remodeling project, socialize or take a trip—none of which are easy when you have a pet.

Pet ownership is a big responsibility requiring time, attention, affection and patience. No matter how you choose to cope with the loss of a pet, consider your state of mind and feelings before you adopt another.