It's perfectly understandable for a bride to expect a lot from a bridesmaid. It's her special day, and as my mom would say, "that's what friends are for" — to be there when your friend needs you the most, whether that means bustling her dress, holding up her ruffles so she can go to the bathroom, or running interference between her and the groom's pervy uncle Peter. In the past couple of years, I've been a bridesmaid upwards of fifteen — yes, you heard me, fifteen — times. And no, I wasn't the inspiration for 27 Dresses! I'm incredibly lucky to have so many friends who want me to be such a big part of their big day. Being as-yet-unmarried myself, these disparate lady-in-waiting experiences have taught me a lot about weddings: what I do and don't want, where I'd like to get married, the type of wedding I'd like to have, not to mention the kind of guy I want to marry. But more than all of that combined, being front and center at so many nuptials has taught me invaluable lessons about what I should — or shouldn't! — expect from my bridesmaids…and a thing or two about friendship along the way.

• In friendship, generosity is key: I've had to shell out for countless engagement presents, dresses (ugh, the dresses!), showers, sometimes a second (or third!) shower, bachelorette parties, getting to the wedding (transportation and hotel), and wedding gifts. The lesson being a bridesmaid has taught me is that, first and foremost (and especially during lean economic times), generosity doesn't have to be all about dollar bills — it's a state of mind. While I always tend to forego being cheap in favor of being a friend, I've never considered taking out a second mortgage to finance being a bridesmaid. Instead, throughout all my wedding experiences, I found creative ways to make it special for the bride without breaking the bank (i.e., talking to the bride if something was completely out of my budget; suggesting a local spot for the bachelorette party instead of going away; holding elegant showers at people's apartments instead of at restaurants). And I also found being generous has its perks: I never feel guilty when I'm out to dinner with someone and she offers to picks up the tab or says, "Drinks on me." Yes, please!
• Make new friends, but keep the old: Once we hit the marrying age (you know, about 22 to 62 or so), old friends come out of the woodwork. I was asked to be a bridesmaid in the wedding of a childhood friend that I hadn't seen kindergarten — but inexplicably, after witnessing the bride-to-be engage in a bachelorette meltdown, and then throwing a temper tantrum about the color of the flowers right before walking down the aisle, it was as if no time had passed at all.
• Be the bigger person: Once, I the Maid of Honor for a true Bridezilla: She wanted an engagement party and since no one in her family offered to throw one, she asked me to do the honors. Then, she asked — nay told — the bridesmaids that she wanted an expensive destination bachelorette party in Las Vegas, even though most of us were poor students, or just generally poor, at the time. And did I mention we had to pay for it? Luckily, I was able to find some great package deals to Vegas, and ten of us crammed into two rooms! As mentioned above, ingenuity is a bridesmaid's best friend, especially if you're trying to stick to a budget. But the lesson in this one is still clear: I sucked it up and put a smile on my face, no matter how unreasonable her demands, because…
• What goes around comes around: And revenge is sweet!