Finding happiness as single woman living in today’s world can be easier than you think. It may not be the kind of thing that grandma would be thrilled to hear about, but it can, in fact, be quite satisfying. Crazily—and keep this one on the “hush-hush”—not only can you find one perfect counterpart, but many! No need to frequent your neighborhood watering hole packed with rolled-up sleeves and loosened ties. No need to sit at the computer for hours on end reading profiles that start with “What I’m really looking for in a woman is.…” None of that! All you need is a small amount of money and a dirty friend with some experience. That’s where I come in.

The Internet takes the embarrassment out of purchasing your first sex toy, and we’ve taken the guesswork out of figuring out which one to buy. Knowing how to please yourself is the first step in teaching someone else how to please you. It’s a life lesson you don’t want to miss out on!

Rocket Launch

The Pocket Rocket is a great place to start. It’s only 2 ½ inches, so it’s small enough to conceal and it’s waterproof. The nylon cord is good for retrieval and the cap comes off for cleaning. These tiny little gems are sure to pack an orgasmic bang—pun 100 percent intended. Price: $7.99

Power Play

The Power Bullet offers three compelling speeds and comes in different chrome colors. It’s small, pretty, and very powerful. You can use it for both internal and external stimulation, but be careful not go too deep with this one. The last thing you want is to be explaining why your torso is vibrating to an emergency-room doctor! Price: $12.95

Two for the Price of One

This may look a little intimidating, but the Dual G Spot and Clit Vibrator is soft and flexible and really easy to use. You can rouse various pleasure points with this multispeed toy; you control the vibrations with a simple dial. Price: $16.96

The Last Emperor

If you want something that looks more realistic then try the Emperor of Vibrating Dildos. Treat yourself like a queen with this durable look-alike piece, but beware: It is a full 8 inches long and the vibrations will go through your entire body. A happy little suction cup at the bottom allows you to position yourself in all sorts of uncompromising positions. It comes in black, white, and brown flesh tones. Price: $54.95

Glass Houses

Lastly, and perhaps the most beautiful of all, is the Glass Master. This hand-sculpted work of “art” is smooth, sleek, and effective. It’s made of a durable Pyrexlike glass and is realistically shaped. The color changes according to your choice of mood lighting. Price: $299.95