Your new baby may be a bundle of joy to you, but another child in the family may not feel the same way. While it's perfectly normal for an older kid to resent the arrival of a new sibling, here"s how you can help keep the rivalry under control.

Prepare your children for what to expect. You don't want to just spring a new baby on your kids. Explain to them, in whatever language is appropriate for their age, that a new baby is coming and what changes can be expected—the baby will need a lot of your time, and he or she will wake up during the night and cry a lot. "Make sure you explain that just because you're spending more time with the new baby doesn't mean you love them any less," says Nicholas Long, professor of pediatrics and director of the Center for Effective Parenting at the University of Arkansas for Medical Services and Arkansas Children"s Hospital.

Try to stay sensitive to their feelings. It's almost an involuntary reflex to coo and cuddle an infant. But make sure you continue to lavish as much love and attention on your older children as well. "This is especially true for children who are used to a lot of physical contact with their parents," notes Long.

While all children will probably feel some resentment, preschool kids tend to have the hardest time adjusting to a new infant. "The younger a child is, the more it depends on its parents," notes Long. "Once a child is in school and starts to make friends, he becomes less reliant on and needy of the parents."

Encourage them to help with the baby. Your older children won't feel as alienated if you try to make them part of the process of caring for the infant. "Don't mandate that they help you," warns Long. Simply point out things they can do and try to make them excited about being a responsible big brother or sister. "If they do take on older sibling responsibilities, be sure to praise them for their help," Long adds. A little positive reinforcement can go a long way toward making them happy about their new situation.

Give your older children quality alone time. Even if you're spending a lot of family time together, make a concerted effort to do things with the older kids away from the baby. "Do something where they can have your undivided attention without being interrupted by crying or having to change diapers," advises Long.