I Want to Save Your Life

Shari McWilliams


Entry 1: 12/20/08 I am very excited to be home for the holidays and have the opportunity to share recipes with my dad who is under the impression that anything "healthy" will not taste good. I worked on overcoming that assumption myself by treating cooking like an art project and transforming many of my recipes into fat/oil free delicacies. My attempt to make "healthy" comfort/holiday food was a success, as my dad is pleased with everything I serve. I hope this inspires him to try and cook for himself, instead of going for the quick and nasty fast food. Entry 2: 12/23/08 It’s freezing outside and the sun has not shown itself for four days. This type of weather makes me want to mainline food down my throat constantly and pack on winter fat to stay warm. The boredom of sitting indoors is a major an issue. I find myself paying visits to the fridge even if I am not hungry. Keeping bad foods out of the house was life saving over the holidays. I am lucky to have a supportive family that is concerned with my success. To cure my snack needs, I made healthy popcorn by spraying it lightly with Pam and sprinkling a small amount of sea salt on top. I think the key with any substitution is the use of good ingredients. Taste testing organic popcorn with a generic brand, I could tell a huge difference!!!!! When it’s cold I crave heavy foods, most likely because that is what I am used to eating in the winter up north. I have no desire to eat Jell-O snacks or fruit. I can’t image being surrounded with fresh pies and cookies coming out of the oven and buttery mashed potatoes waiting for me to dive in. I am so glad that is not in front of me right now. I love the taste of food, and I can’t deny that I miss certain flavors and textures. For me it is a challenge to replace those amazing flavors with healthy alternatives. Entry 3: 12/28/08 Going out to dinner with my friend was exciting. She was impressed that I had lost weight and mentioned that she too had lost 20-lbs. in a month drinking protein shakes, but put it all back on recently. We went to eat at a local brewery. I was surprised when she ordered deep fried cheese curds and cheese sticks as an appetizer. On top of that, she ordered the beer battered fish fry. With Charles and the treadmill in mind, I ordered the boiled cod fish fry. I was encouraged to eat the deep fried cheese because I did not get cheese like this in Florida. One of my weaknesses is destination eating. I always enjoy trying the local special on the menu and indulging in the richest flavors. Cheese, of course, is a Wisconsin delicacy and would typically be what I would order when visiting. Looking around at the other guests in the restaurant, I noticed that over 75% were overweight! It made me start to imagine myself the size of the state of Wisconsin if I ate the deep fried cheese. For the first time since I started the program, I experienced food pressure. I felt like someone was trying to get me hooked on drugs- just this one time won’t hurt…and yes, I’m sure if I consumed the entire plate of cheese curds I would not die, but I would suffer the next day in the gym. At some point I will reward myself with a cheesy snack, but for now it’s the laughing cow. Entry 4: 1/13/09 It’s 1 a.m.; I’m tired, stressed, and hungry. If I don’t get candidacy, I will not graduate and all that I have worked for over the past two-and-a-half-years will be wasted. I know I will be pulling an all-nighter, which I am used to. Typically, I would go to a fast food drive through because it is quick, ok tasting, cheap and is one of the few things open this late at night. I don’t plan meals for times like these because my mind is taken by other issues. Inevitably, hunger strikes hard, and I am out on the street in search of a quick snack. The only place I can think of that may have something healthy is the gas station. On my way over there, I walk past a Domino’s. The savory aroma of fresh baked pizza overwhelms my senses and makes me want to eat there. I feel hypnotized and drawn in by the images on the wall. Then the image of Charles appears. He looks disappointed, maybe on the verge of scolding me. Then I think about the gym, which is the most unappealing place for me to be when I am tired and stressed. I think about all the cardio I would have to do to make up for the pizza I would so love to consume. The overwhelming sense of having to work out at this moment takes over and makes my stomach churn in discomfort, and I continue to walk to the gas station. There are not many things to be had there. I spent at least a half hour picking up packages of nuts, power bars, and chips only to be discouraged by the calorie content. It amazes me that such a small portion, which I used to consider a light snack, has just as many calories as a hearty healthy meal. Finally I find a Campbell’s soup that had 90 cal. per cup. I buy two cans and a diet coke and am on my way. Entry 5: 1/18/09 I got candidacy and decided to reward myself by taking a bike trip down to the keys. I stopped in a parking lot to unload my bike and notice how overweight many of the people were. There was a small table set up where girl scouts were selling their cookies. I used to be a girl scout, and could pack down a few boxes of cookies in one day. I was curious how many calories were in a serving so I walked over. I noticed how they pushed boxes on people- obviously to sell and make money for the troop, but little did they know they were also pushing pounds on people. All of a sudden I realized how such an innocent thing could be the beginning of a very unhealthy lifestyle. Immediately I felt grateful that I can ride my bike, and not have to sit in a car to see the keys. I am happy that I can go diving and fit into a wet suit instead of sitting on a glass bottom boat -- and most of all I am happy that I want to be active and am excited to challenge myself and bike 40 miles. Five months ago, I would have never thought that I could bike such a distance, so I would have resorted to a slice of key lime pie, a box of thin mints and passed out under a palm tree. Entry 6: 1/26/09 I have not been to the office since I left to go home for the holidays. Everywhere I turn, people stop in their tracks and say, "Wow! What have you been doing? You lost a ton of weight. You look great!" I share my experiences and diet tips with everyone that takes an interest. Everyone has their weaknesses whether its, pasta, breads, sweets or lack of desire to workout. I feel honored when people tell me what an inspiration I am and how they cannot believe how much weight I have lost. I hope I can keep inspiring my friends, coworkers, and family to live a healthy life just by setting a good example. When people see quick results from someone living a busy and healthy lifestyle, it makes weight loss seem more achievable for anyone. I am amazed with the progress my dad is making. He has lost 13 lbs since I left home just by eating healthy and working out on the elliptical. I always tell people the visual is just a bonus; the true victory is feeling healthy and able to accomplish more in the day. I am physically more tuned, and am not fatigued easily. I also feel much better now that I not putting all of that bad fat and sugar in my system. Now, if I eat something with sugar I feel nauseous. This is a life changing process and I am so lucky to have been saved.