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“I don’t have traits that make me a Bridezilla; people have traits that force me into ‘Zilla moments.”

Hi my name is Jeanine. I’m 25 years old and I am a student.

I don’t have traits that make me a Bridezilla; people have traits that force me into ‘Zilla moments. I am a very clear person. I set expectations for everybody I encounter and I expect to get more than I pay for, especially in this economy. Businesses should be ecstatic that I am spending money with them in the current U.S. economical state. I also go from zero to a thousand in a second and calming me down is more like a twenty-four hour event. I hear the opinions that people give me, listen to ones that have given good advice in the past and store the opinions that may actually work and that I can change a little to make mine. I have to do things my way first because I don’t like to think or wonder what if. People don’t like me that’s an issue they have to deal with.

It is difficult to choose bridesmaids when a girl like me doesn’t have a crew of fiends lined up. One thing about having girlfriends is you have to lie a lot. It’s a lot of energy to lie especially to friends who are supposed to be people you care about. My blood sister was supposed to originally be my maid of honor but that didn’t work out because she is one of those people I have to waste energy on by telling her lies about herself. So, I replaced her with Cherlie. I had no real task for my MOH because I didn’t trust her to do anything anyway and our styles and tastes are really different.

I only get along with my dad and talk to my older sister and second older brother. Throughout the time frame of planning my wedding I stopped talking to my mother and other siblings. In reference to my in-laws, I feel like they are so fake. In my face they love me and behind my back they trying to screw up my relationship. I even told them before say what you have to say to me in my face I will not get offended because I’m comfortable with the skin I’m in. They still have not and I have talked to Thomas about it and he won’t even arrange a dinner for us to talk about it. I do want to say though regardless how they feel about me truthfully I do appreciate Thomas’s mother so much because she did so much for my wedding than the my own mother who is alive and well.

I loved so many moments of my wedding day. This was the one day I didn’t do my own make up in the morning and was like bare the whole way there so seeing myself transformed from Jeanine to being transformed into a Barbie doll was fun. I also enjoyed finally seeing my reception area come together from just a room full of chairs to an area with a dance floor and a functional reception area. The top of the day was finally seeing me. My main focus though out my whole wedding was me and nobody else. I missed my high school prom because I became a teenage mother and was working that out. I loved my look. It really reflected my true heart. I looked angelic, calm and most importantly I put the chic into my wedding. Nobody even if they tried could out do me. Also, I was the most gorgeous bride that Bridezillas has ever seen.

I planned my wedding in five days. I was out of state and I tried to do as much leg work as I could but it was hard. I had a lot of things delivered ahead of time but that wasn’t enough because it still was hectic. There really weren’t any sane moments during my wedding. I felt as if no one was really helping and they had their own agenda and didn’t worry about what the bride needed help on. People were there to cast judgments rather than to help.

What bothered me the most on my wedding day was my bridesmaids smoking a cigarette every chance they got. Tara went down from the hotel to move the car and Joanna went to put the baby car set in the car as well. Instead, of doing this they had a cigarette and the worst part was they were in their bridesmaid dresses. I felt that this was so trashy and not classy at all. When we got to the wedding venue Tara parked the car and jumped out as fast she put the car in park and practically ran to have a cigarette.

When I arrived at my wedding venue I was pissed. People were outside and Tara opened the van door. I attempted to close it and my veil got caught in the door so I had to open it again. I had no time to give any of my bridesmaid’s instruction to get the people inside because they both ran off to have cigarettes. My MOH had to attend to me which she was doing but it took like 15 minutes to get everybody where they needed to be because of cigarettes.

My problem with Thomas’s family is that they’re fake and that makes me unable to trust them. In my opinion, if your son or brother wants to marry somebody he should not have to explain to you why. First that is allowing people inside your relationship and making them part of something they shouldn’t have no input on. I always believed that when in a relationship any input from the outside will equal an unsuccessful relationship. Thomas calls his family and tells them bad things about me (I found this out after the wedding from his helpful aunt). My father, if he had his way, wouldn’t have chosen Thomas for me because Thomas has shared information with him that caused him to form a negative opinion about Thomas. I don’t share information about my relationship with anybody. You tell a home girl what your man did and then the next week he does something awesome and you tell your home girl that too. But she reminds you of what he did last week when you’re over it already and at the time you were just venting an everything you said was out of anger. Basically, I don’t share information because I want to form my opinion on my relationship and I don’t need no one else giving me their input on my relationship.

I respect the institution of marriage and what it stands for. I took a vow to Thomas in front of god and his family and my dad. I honor that because marriage is not something that should be taken lightly. My parents got a divorce when I was going into the seventh grade. I know how it affected me and how it played a role on who I am today. My mom never discussed anything me because she felt I was too young to understand so I formed my opinion. I say this because my son was at my reception and witnessed everything that happen. Thomas says to me he attempted to calm me down but what he doesn’t recognize was every time he approached me he was saying the word annulment in the same sentence. Nothing about that word will calm anybody down.

Today, I’m at a crosswords and I hope I get over what I’m sharing with the world because maybe my theory on opinions may be wrong. I love Thomas and that I still know that but I cannot seem to get over this. My emotions are all over the place. I really want breathing room to figure out my thoughts but Thomas feels like that’s me leaving him. I feel Thomas needs to understand that this is not the first time he hurt me and I was asking for breathing time before we got married. I am fighting with myself. Do I stick to my values and beliefs or get an annulment? A part of me wants to fight and make it work but another part of me feels like I don’t know who I married but I thought I did.

Filming the show was the greatest experience ever. I read a lot of blogs before I decided to do the show and a lot of them said things like: those girls are so fake and who would do this show and look so stupid. I decided to do the show because Thomas said I should see the way I act and because he felt I was a Bridezilla so I did it. I literately did not even know the cameras were there, only when they got in my way of planning my wedding. Doing the show was fun and I believe they got more than what they bargained for. Many people ask me if I had to do my wedding over again what would I do differently and I tell them I would plan it in ten days instead of five. I loved doing the show and wouldn’t do anything differently other than the time I gave myself.