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Maids of Dishonor

Maids of Dishonor?

Being a bridesmaid has its perks — reunion weekends with your besties, invites to picture-perfect parties, and someone else takes care of the dress shopping for you. On the flip side, constant demands and expectations from Bridezilla can get old, real quick. But it’s important to keep your cool so you keep your friendship intact on the wedding day, and beyond. Check out these 10 don’ts for bridesmaids:

1. Don’t Complain About Money

You can complain about the cost of plane tickets to her bachelorette party to your other friends, not the bride. Complaining about the expenses associated with her wedding will just make her feel bad (especially if she didn’t plan certain things). Rather than threaten to put your house on the market to pay for all of her wedding festivities, there are gracious ways to opt out of things you can’t afford.

2. Don’t go Rogue

Anyone that’s had the pleasure of being a bridesmaid knows that brides are all about the details. If she says instructs you all to wear black heels with the b-maids dress, don’t wear your new gold ones just because you think they look better. Follow the marching orders, girlfriend.

3. Don’t be a Whiner

Don’t constantly grumble about the dresses, the shoes, or the “preferred” hairstyle. This is her day, and there are some things you just have to deal with. So what if she’s requested only nude polish on your toes? Just grin and bear it… and tell yourself it looks great with a tan.

4. Don’t be Late

Nothing pisses off a bride more than a bridesmaids not being on time to important events like showers, bachelorette parties, rehearsal dinners and of course, the wedding! Even though your world doesn’t revolve around her nuptials, being on time is just common courtesy.

5. Don’t Make it All About You

Just because you think it’s cute to walk your newborn down the aisle in a stroller covered in white streamers, the bride most likely will not. This is her big day, and what she says goes. Brides have to make a lot of decisions, and they take them seriously. Don’t make demanding requests when it comes to your role, and then sulk if she says “No” (see #3).

6. Don’t Be a Train Wreck

One too many cocktails can lead to one really bad dance-floor hookup with the creepy uncle. You shouldn’t be grinding next to the grandparents. So, keep it classy gals. And remember, there are professional photographers capturing every moment. Memories will always live on… on Facebook.

7. Don’t Roast

Earmuffs! Nothing kills what should be a heartfelt speech faster than raunchy tales of hook-ups, escapades in Cancun and bad bathroom incidents (or a horrific combination of all three). Bridesmaids that cross the line when toasting their friend, not only offend (and possibly really hurt!) the bride and groom, but cause cringe-worthy moments for the rest of the crowd as well. It’s okay to poke fun a little, but keep the toasts tasteful!

8. Don’t Forget to Eat

Wedding days are a whirlwind, especially when you’re in the bridal party. Be sure to stay hydrated and eat something substantial before you head down the aisle. Bridesmaids passing out during the ceremony is not just an old wives tale. (I’ve seen it happen, and it’s not pretty.)

9. Don’t Act Too Cool

If you’re pouting in the corner playing on your iPhone instead of playing Pin the Macho on the Man… the bride will notice. Whether you’re planning bachelorette party games or helping to open gifts at the shower (Oooooh – another fry pan!), get into the spirit even if you think it’s totally cheesy.

10. Don’t forget to have Fun

Most importantly, remember that being a bridesmaid is an honor. Your BFF wants you by her side throughout the planning, the events and especially when she says “I do.” Enjoy it!


Jessica Solloway is a Washington, DC based writer and producer. From wedding planning to work, dating to dieting (and everything in between), she enjoys writing about women’s lifestyle topics. Jessica received her degree in Journalism from the University of Wisconsin-Madison. Check out her blog, The Savvy Mrs.