There have been 100’s of freak outs, many a meltdown and countless catfights and tonight we got to watch the season finale of Bridezillas. Never ones to disappoint, we start out with new bride, Cristal. She and her fiance Adam met during a HS production of Little Shop of Horrors (which may prove to be a bit of foreshadowing); he says she’s emotionally unstable, she says he likes her because she looks like a Kardashian…what do you think?
Cristal is visiting the salon for fake eyelashes and forcing the employees to fan her face while she undergoes the painful process. Meanwhile, Adam is going for his own faking, fake tanning that is, to which Cristal responds, “you look like a burnt sea monkey”. Well we heard the Kardashians like sea monkeys, so they are a good match!
Remember Johanne? How could you forget really. She’s doing sake bombs and xanax at her bachelorette party, where she also starts a food fight and gets classy by pulling her dress up over her head…oh boy. Ed shows up just in time for her drunk revelation that she cheated on him, but she’s sober enough to reveal only half the real story to her poor hubby-to-be and he still says he’s having reservations (imagine if he knew what REALLY happened!)
Cristal is celebrating her bachelorette too. She’s at a rowdy bar with Adam and friends, getting drunk and riding a mechanical ‘pepper’ with Adam’s brother…awkwaaaard. Almost as awkward as when another patron calls her a cow and she dumps a drink on the wrong guy. Nice one. It’s all well on her wedding day though, despite the fact that she can barely get into her dress and spends half the night crying over a broken cake topper-kinda feel like there are more important aspects of a wedding, but we could be wrong.
Well, at least Cristal and Adam got married, which is more than what it looks like will happen for Johanne and Ed. He’s not showing up at the ceremony, she’s freaking out and when he finally does make an appearance and insists they talk before they wed, Johanne pulls out another miracle and gets Ed to walk down the aisle, even though she cheated on him (which she calls out in her vows…is that weird?)
The reception gets underway and once again, Ed is nowhere to be found (we don’t really blame him for hiding, especially since the ‘other man’ is at the wedding…what??) and more fighting takes place between the happy couple before the night’s end. After all her planning, screaming, (cheating), and tattooing-Johanne has just one thing to say about her special day, “This whole wedding was a bust!” How charming.