Have you been missing Joan & Melissa? We have … which is why we’re looking forward to another season of cringe-worthy moments (like last season, when Joan argued that she and Melissa should get bikini waxes in the same room!). This season, Melissa has to deal with her mother’s desire for even more plastic surgery, which got us thinking: What are the most embarrassing things that moms do?
Here are 10 that humiliate us every time:
1. Mom drinks half a glass of wine — and she’s drunk!
Let’s face it — most moms can’t hold their liquor. We have a friend who swears her mom gets drunk when she “smells” booze, and our mom thinks she’s queen of the dance floor after half a glass!
2. Mom takes her MILF/cougar status too far.
We have a friend who was mortified when her mom’s nipple — yes, her nipple — popped out of her revealing dress at her wedding. Sometimes, Mom learns a little TOO much from “Desperate Housewives.”
3. Mom is hopelessly out of style.
Our mom insists on wearing pantyhose with open-toed shoes. She also refers to jeans as “dungarees” and occasionally teases her hair with hair spray. The ‘80s wrapped up more than 20 years ago, Mom!
4. Mom insists on talking about the birds and the bees.
This issue first pops up around puberty — when she insists that you have “the talk” — and often persists into adulthood. Yes, mom, we know where babies come from and no, we’re not going to dish about our sex life with you!
5. Mom gets it on … with Dad.
As a kid, did you ever have a sense that your parents were, well, “doing it”? Maybe it was a locked door on Saturday morning, or something equally nauseating? But it’s even worse when you’re all grown up and Mom wants to share the dirty details. We (really) don’t want to hear it!
6. Mom exists … and breathes.
Sometimes, it’s the little things about Mom that are most embarrassing, even if she’s just dropping you off at school, eating lunch or simply breathing!
7. Mom brings up your embarrassing childhood memories in front of your friends/significant other/husband.
Yes, mom, we know we used to run around without a diaper and pick our nose. And we’re aware that we had buck teeth before they were corrected by braces. But do you really have to tell everyone else?
8. Mom whips out the old photo albums.
Mom thinks your baby fat rolls were “so cute,” but you beg to differ. Even worse: She has a scanner and she knows how to use it!
9. Mom “friends” you on Facebook.
As much as you love your mom, you probably don’t want her studying every message on your wall and monitoring your status updates. But how can you turn down your mom’s request to be your “friend”?
10. Mom thinks she knows you better than anyone … and she’s probably right.
Mom has a way of zeroing in a situation and figuring out why you’re unhappy/nervous/anxious/upset. It’s kind of embarrassing that she knows you so well, but you wouldn’t have it any other way.