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Candace on Episode 7: Who Doesn’t Like Wine?

With all of the recent stress and tension among our group, I decided it was time for a day away from our children and spouses to relax and attempt to reconcile hurt feelings.  I planned a wine tour for the group hoping this would be a nice getaway.  Little did I know what would transpire as a result of this get together.

I asked the ladies to meet at my house prior to departing on the bus for the wine tour.  Tonia arrived first, followed by Suz.  I noticed that Suz was not herself and seemed as if she just did not want to be there.  I confronted her and she said she was not feeling well and also shared that Casey was not coming because one of her children is sick.  Hearing this news, I immediately called Casey to check on her to see if everything was okay.  I left a message letting her know I am thinking about her and hoped all is well with whomever is sick.  As we waited for the other ladies, Suz was texting on her phone and I do not hear back from Casey.  I begin to wonder if Casey was not coming because she is still upset about the sushi dinner, so I tried to reach out to her several times via text messages and phone calls in vain.  At this point, I was becoming increasingly frustrated because I suspected Suz was texting Casey, who apparently must be ignoring me, I presumed.  I knew things between us are stressed, especially after the last dinner, but since she did not return my messages, we really had not had the opportunity to reconcile.  As Tonia, Suz and I continued to sit there in silence while Suz continued texting…my own apprehension grew, but I don’t say anything at this point.

Teryn and Stephanie arrived and I attempted once again to lighten the mood by offering the ladies some wine.  The tension was still looming until Stephanie began to talk about the progress of her new boobs.  Before we knew it, Stephanie was opening her shirt and “Boing” out came the new boobs.  On one hand, I was thankful this happened because Stephanie’s actions helped lighten the mood, but on the other hand I am hoping that Steve and my children do not walk out into the living room to see Stephanie topless.

Finally, we boarded the bus for the wine tour and everyone was immediately on their phones texting again.  Tonia and I looked at each other dumbfounded.  Why was everyone being so rude?  I felt like everyone was acting like they were in high school…mean girls…let’s all be rude to Candace and ruin this day she planned for us.  No one was really talking to each other, and what I thought would be fun, had once again turned stressful as I got the vibe no one wanted to be there. Finally, Stephanie began to speak and shared that she and Jerald were fighting and their marriage may be over.  I was speechless and felt badly for Stephanie.

Sadly things did not change at the first stop of our tour, and the tension was still looming.  Upon arriving at the second stop, Teryn informed us that Casey was now coming.  Really?  I called Casey and she never responded.  I’m hurt.  This was an event I planned, I reached out to her to check on her child, yet she never returned my attempts to connect, to let me know she is now coming.  Sadly, I can only speculate that it all must stem from the previous dinner topic about where we met our husbands, never mind the fact that I did not bring up the topic, but seemingly continue to be punished for it.  That may not be what was going on, but that was how I felt.

As Casey arrived, I was filled with anxiety, emotion, and questions.  I asked Tonia to come outside to talk to me and immediately I burst into tears.  What was going on with everyone’s moods on this wine tour?  Did I do something?  I am mentally tapped out.  I am so glad Tonia was there and I had an ally to discuss how I am feeling.  We talked and it seemed clear I should just get it out there and talk about the elephant in the room.  I decided to confront the group and ask them what was going on.

As I suspected, Casey was still upset about the dinner discussion where we met our husbands.  I am frustrated because I had attempted to talk to her about this and she would not respond to my attempts to discuss it with her.  I also observed that Suz spoke up for Casey a few times during the discussion, which oddly reminds me of the issue the ladies have given me grief about – speaking for Tonia.  It seemed like a double standard that it is okay for Suz to speak for Casey, but it is not okay for Candace to speak for Tonia?  Why do these ladies not understand that good friends protect one another?  It is clear to me that Casey still blames me for the topic of where she met her husband coming out, but again, I am not sure why, since Tonia asked the question, and it was not until after Casey openly shared were she met her husband that I asked Casey about it.  Again, I never had any intention of hurting her or embarrassing her.

I decided to attempt to end the conversation and express that we have all been hurt so let’s just try to move on from here.  I sincerely hope that we can indeed move on from all of this and just start fresh.