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Tonia on Episode 8: Moving On

I was excited to prepare for Peyton and Sydney’s Birthday Party, hosted by Wishes Upon Wishes. Melissa Stinson, the owner of the company, was Peyton and Sydney’s first nanny, and we are still very close to this day. Melissa was so gracious to plan an amazing day for my sweet little princesses who turned five. Wow how time flies.

After I divorced Rob (long before I filmed for this show), I sent him a letter stating that if he made the changes he needed to make (which are MAJOR) and if I am still single, to let me know. I didn’t go crying back to him asking for him back, it was a nice letter telling him how I felt about our situation. I have come to the conclusion that you can’t make someone change. I tried to get help for Rob for over five years with his issues and it wasn’t working. When I say I gave it my all, I DID. We have two beautiful girls together and I put this out there because he might see one day what he lost. I don’t get much of a response from Rob except, “You divorced me remember?” Well, what a kick in the face after an eight year marriage. I don’t necessarily think it was him rejecting me, because I never asked him to get back together. I was basically saying, work on yourself and let me know, but honestly he wasn’t willing to work on his issues during our entire marriage so I am not hopeful at this point.

Obviously, I put myself out there on national TV, why not put myself out there with a man that I shared eight years with?  By Rob’s little effort through the years, this is the closure I needed to put the past behind me and move forward. He is a great father to my girls and that is what they need. I don’t need him as a husband any longer and I have learned to respect him as their dad. The healing process isn’t fun, and I hope I never have to re-live a divorce EVER again.

I couldn’t wait to see the look on Peyton and Sydney’s face when they walk into their fairy tale princess party. Melissa worked SO hard to prepare for this big day for them. When I walked into the room, I got a glimpse of what it would be like when they got married. Immediately my emotions were out of control. I was thinking, “How can they be five already?” It seemed just like yesterday when they were in the NICU and getting fed through feeding tubes. I was overwhelmed with princess wands, dresses, jewelry and fancy place settings. But, to this day my twins STILL talk about their birthday party and just can’t believe how awesome it was to have all their party princesses there. They were jumping around from table to table to show their friends every single detail. By far this is the best birthday party I have ever seen.

Overall, the interaction with Rob was just fine at the birthday party.  Just like normal (my new normal) we talk when we have to talk for the girls and do what we need to do to keep them happy.  Making sure the girls are taken care of and happy is my number one priority. Although it may not be easy at times, I do the best I can to be cordial and continue a “co-parenting business relationship” with their dad. These two little girls are the most important human beings in my life. They deserve to be happy.