Courtesy of Zwiling J.A. Henckels

Picture this—the date: October, 2002. The location: Fortunoff. A faint puff of smoke drifts from the registry gun as my then-fiancé and I gleefully tag bar codes. Was it so crazy to dream of waking to the smell of coffee brewing itself in the automatic coffeepot? Or of romantic evenings spent feeding each other luscious fondue? After five years of marriage, one baby, and one impending house move, the answer is yes.

Every bridal magazine, home-goods store, and wedding Website will offer you a registry checklist, but here’s the real deal from a married woman, five years later.

The Regrets

I have never once used my salad spinner, fondue set, coffeepot, or teacups and saucers. In my opinion, a better bet is to register for barbeque items like thermometers, tools, or even the Weber itself rather than a fondue set. Ditch the 12-cup coffeepot in favor of the Tassimo Single Serve Coffeemaker (great for tea drinkers too). Don’t fall into the teacup trap—get the mugs instead, which will take care of the tea, coffee, and ice cream! And seriously, just get the bag of prewashed lettuce.

I would put my embroidered comforter in the looks-nice-but-wears-poorly category. It was beautiful until we got the dog, whose nails made a ratty mess of the thing, which incidentally needs to be dry-cleaned. Instead of the comforter, my suggestion is to register for a duvet and duvet cover, which will stand up to machine washing and allow you to change the design whenever you desire.

Registry purists will urge you to register for china, silver, and crystal, usually making the argument that it’s so expensive you will never buy it for yourself. This is pretty much true, so go ahead and pick your patterns, but don’t get service for 12! For newlyweds, I think eight of each is plenty for entertaining and even better for storing. As your family grows, so will your tastes, and hopefully, your budget; to avoid china remorse, my suggestion would be to buy either a very neutral pattern that can be mixed and matched at a later date or a classic pattern that you can add to at your leisure down the road.

Definitely steer clear of place-setting extras like cocktail forks or butter spreaders. We received exactly one of the $50 butter spreaders on our registry. Chances are pretty good that if I have $550 to blow now I’m not going to spend it completing my butter-spreader set.

Registry Wish List

An ice bucket and a couple of water pitchers would come in handy now. Baking supplies, like dry measuring cups and a mixer, didn’t seem important until the day I went to make banana bread and realized I’d have to cream the sugar and eggs by hand.

And finally, I’ve found you can never have too many bowls. From cereal to takeout Chinese to baby food, bowls just fit the bill. I wish I had registered for ramekins, chip and dip bowls, a large fruit bowl, salad bowls, and more serving bowls of various sizes.

The Favorites

Think basic and convenient. A good knife set in a block is invaluable for everything from steak dinners to slicing bagels. Get at least the 10-piece cookware set so you have fry pans and pots for small and large meals. I use my toaster oven daily, from breakfast straight through to the occasional midnight snack. Corning Ware will be the workhorse of your kitchen (you can bake in it, microwave it, freeze it, and serve in it).

When you’re ready to graduate beyond eggs and toast, the George Foreman Grill will be ready and waiting. It’s basically foolproof, and even comes with a recipe book! Finally, don’t bother with the big food processor; the Cuisinart Mini Prep Processor is all most amateur chefs need.

So there it is—all my registry wisdom. I guess if after five years of marriage my only regret is the butter spreaders, we’re doing okay.