Alright people, let’s just get straight into this one, we’ve got a lot to cover. So…Lou Ann and Tony had us take a couple (of kids), Nick and Chassidy, to a bar to see Dana’s band perform to see if they would like her to play at their wedding. I was surprised to see that our happy couple had also brought along their Maid of Honor, a lovely young woman named Angel. I was even MORE surprised (or surprised-er, as Gino would say) to find out that Angel had been with Nick before Nick and Chassidy got together (are you with me so far?); and, Angel actually had a child fathered by Nick (Jerry Springer eat your heart out)! Nick had started dating Chassidy at about the same time Angel was pregnant with his baby. Angel now hates Nick’s guts but is BFF’s with Chassidy. But wait – there’s more! When I took the girls aside to have a chat and figure out what was going on, Chassidy confided in me that she’s heard rumors of Nick cheating. To make matters worse, Chassidy might be pregnant with Nick’s kid. Another sad case of babies having babies.
I was really shocked because nothing ever shocks me. I felt sorry for this girl who’s trapped in a bad situation, but I also wanted to shake the shi* out of her and say “Wake up! Marrying this guy is like signing your own death warrant.” But I didn’t. I kept my cool and tried to give her some big sisterly advice. In the end, I know we’re not supposed to interfere when a wedding doesn’t look like it’s going to have a happy ending, but that’s just not who I am. So I gently told her in my most professional language what I honestly thought – that she needs to kick him to the curb and find herself a hero instead of her current zero. Chassidy told me she would think about it. What can I say? Youth is wasted on the young!
After the loss of our photographer, Barbara, Lou Ann and Tony decided it was time for a replacement. Their only mistake – not consulting me before the big hire, which, led to Mia Goff. Lou Ann thought it would be a great idea for us to meet Miss Mia at a bar before we started working together (a day late and a dollar short Lou Lou). When Mia walked into the bar I just remember being blinded by this shocking white light. When my eyes finally adjusted, I realized it was the dye job on her hair. The wardrobe that followed the hair was not much better.
My instincts could tell that this was not going to work out. But knowing Lou Ann as well as I do, I know that once she makes up her mind, there is no going back. So, against my better judgment, I decide to give Mia a chance and I started asking her some honest questions about her experience as a photographer. She became a little defensive; apparently, she’s allergic to hard questions. What I gathered is that she wouldn’t be able to tell those big led balloons she has wrapped around her neck from a camera lens. Oh well, no use in crying over spilled peroxide, I have weddings to plan!