First off, can we have Donatello appear in our kitchen everyone morning to cook us breakfast?  And he also plays with your pets?  Where can we sign up?  T&VQuote: “Miracle… can you please stop sweating him?”  But we don’t know what to “aww” at more… Miracle playing with Tamar or poor Donatello when he realized Vince can’t have turkey.  Thankfully, Tamar and Vince realize there is a learning curve and they are soon on to arguing about how many slices of tomatoes Vince can have.  T&VQuote: “I’m just trying to keep my husband from winding up in the hospital again or worse.  Is that so bad?”  Tomatoes soon lead to booze, which is apparently something Tamar has been thoroughly enjoying lately.  This couple can’t even get through breakfast without an argument, so how are they going to give relationship advice at Essence?  However, Tamar feels like her superfans will most likely just blame it all on Vince.  T&VQuote: “I have Tamartians, Vince.”  T&VQuote: “I don’t know the Tamartians.  I just know The Tamar, she, me, her… I don’t know who she is.  I don’t know who the martians are.  Hope they never come to my door cuz I’ll be scared and nervous and confused.”

Tamar and Vince head over to the studio to meet up with Harvey and get a taste of the single, “Get Your Life”.  T&VQuote: “You know, I can’t even think of a word to describe how HOT my music is.  I’m gonna have to make up a whole new language to describe it.”  Tamar is “straight snappin’” and everyone in the studio is definitely a huge fan of the song.  Tamar wants this single to debut ASAP, but Vince wants to make sure the timing is right.  T&VQuote: “It’s very typical for artists to want to get their work out as fast as possible, but I want to take my time and make sure we do the right thing.”  Tamar wants a younger person’s opinion, so Damon goes to get his 14 year old daughter, Shawnna.  T&VQuote: “If she doesn’t like it, then it’s not hot.”  Shawnna looks like she loves the song and wants to drop it like it’s hot along with Tamar.  T&VQuote: “It’s something I can dance to.”  Apparently, Tamar feels the same way because she says she almost knocked her hair piece off while getting down.  T&VQuote: “Pump your brakes.  We got you… dot com.”

Before leaving for Essence, Tamar and Vince stop off to get a status on her “Get Your Life” and “.com” shirts she will be selling in New Orleans.  T&VQuote: “That’s what my Tamartian friends say the most.  I mean every day, somebody needs to get their life!”  Tamar and Vince carefully select placement of the graphics on the tshirt guru’s chest with a 12 inch ruler, discuss ink colors, and to bling or not to bling.  T&VQuotes: “My shirts are gonna be the shit.”

Hellooooo Nawlins and the Essence Music Festival!  T&VQuote: “For real, I’m excited to see my Tamartian friends.”  Essence is PACKED with Tamar and Vince Fans, and the WE tv booth is insane.  You even see our giveaway winners planking with the couple.  WE can tell you firsthand how crazy it was since we were down in New Orleans with the rest of the WE tv family during the event.  And we were there when Tamar got a few tummy rumbles and needed to run to the bathroom.  It was MAYHEMT&VQuote: “What if I shart on stage!?  She pooped!”  With the agonizing moans coming from the green room, WE knew Tamar needed to take care of business.  T&VQuote: “#1 I have to pee like Seabiscuit.  #2 I feel like I have the Hershey squirts.”  But Tamar ran to the bathroom in those six inch Giuseppes like a pro!  WE would have fallen flat on our faces.  T&VQuote: “Sometimes you gotta hold your little poop.”  Luckily, Tamar makes it back in time to discuss relationships and marriage.  Tamar and Vince truly love each other, and can share the importance of being friends, as well as husband and wife.  And trust, Tamar does not let Vince forget for one second that he had a girlfriend when she was feeling him… and that he was in the “process” of breaking up with her.  T&VQuote: “I broke up with the young lady, fell in love with Tamar, and here’s Miracle.”

The line was INSANE at Garb Boutique on Magazine Street, but would you expect anything different from Tamar’s loyal Tamartians?  But what was truly a site was LaShawn selling Tamar’s tshirt like it was his job.  T&VQuote: “You would never think he sold 200 million albums, and got two Grammys, and is one of the biggest and hottest song writers in the world.”  LaShawn and Vince are from New Jersey, which according to LaShawn is the home of the hustler… so that explains it!  T&VQuote: “Was I sweating?  YES!  Were my Louis Vuitton sneakers finished? YES!”

It’s now Day 2 at EMF, and Tamar and Vince are fresh off another fight.  T&VQuote: “So today, she is just going to sit, and be pretty, and gorgeous, and smile.”  But, it’s only a matter of time until the conversation turns from fried chicken to Vince’s whereabouts the night before.  T&VQuote: “I was there watching TV, and Tamar was snoring.”  After Vince walks away from the conversation, he gets on stage at the WE tv Q&A solo leaving Tamar alone in the green room.  T&VQuote: “I’m gonna have this Q&A, but when we get home I’m gonna check that ass, boo.”

Vince and Tamar go out to dinner with April and LaShawn post EMF and post argument.  As the couples rehash the occurrences of the trip, Tamar’s memory seems a bit fuzzy.  She can’t remember April stepping in mud, April complaining about stepping in mud, or getting a late night snack.  But WE must side with Tamar… after a few Voodoos and Hurricanes, you will spend your night pleasantly blacked out!

Tamar and Vince arrive back in L.A., and are quick to hit up the studio with Damon again to rework a verse in Tamar’s single, “Get Your Life”.  T&VQuote: “I haven’t listened to it in a few days, and I’m not feeling it at all!”  Tamar reworks a verse and changes the tempo, but that is still not cutting it.  SHE is not happy.  Tamar feels like it all seems a bit forced, but she is willing to step back for a bit, let Damon work his magic, and listen to it later on.

Back at Casa Herbert, Miracle is in hot water when Tamar notices all the little treats he has been leaving all over the carpet.  T&VQuote: “I know who the real poop culprit is.”  Vince tries his best to convince Tamar this is an isolated incident, and that Toni’s dog, Bentley has been the culprit in instances past.  She’s not buying it.  As the two sit down to eat, Tamar notices Vince is in visible pain.  Vince woke up with a pain in his back, and Tamar thinks it is best to go to the hospital and get him checked out.  T&VQuote: “It is not on my schedule to lose my man today.”