This particular episode was quite the emotional roller-coaster for me. As little girls we always imagine that we’ll meet a great guy, have a fairytale wedding and start a family. While I got the great guy and the fairytale wedding, I never would have thought that when it was time to have a baby, I would have a problem. Knowing that I couldn’t produce a baby for me and Vince the natural way at first was really disheartening for me. Was I going to be the reason why Vince would never be able to be a father? The thought of that being the case was killing me, so I knew we had to figure something out.
Luckily, nowadays there are procedures to help couples like us. I had to put my trust in God that everything would work out, and so far everything is on track. Unlike most couples, our first round of fertilization was successful! The doctor extracted 6 follicles, 5 of them were good, and 4 of them fertilized (2 boys and 2 girls). Once they fertilized the eggs, I then had to decide whether or not I wanted to implant the eggs immediately, or freeze them for later.
So there I was, feeling absolutely CRAZY after being pumped with synthetic hormones twice a day, for two weeks. My hormones were a complete MESS…mood swings, I couldn’t get out the bed, I had gained a ton of weight, and I felt like I was just sitting in a chair staring at myself all day long. I just didn’t feel like me, and I knew that wasn’t the way I wanted to start my pregnancy. Within two weeks I had gone from regular Tamar to an emotional wreck-filled with enough hormones to make my body think I was four months pregnant. I honestly just wasn’t ready emotionally or physically, so in the freezer they went.
What’s interesting is that as CRAZY as the process was and as CRAZY as I felt, the fact that at some point (possibly late next year) I’ll be able to carry and have me and Vince’s baby is such a wonderful feeling. I know that I have a ton of stuff I want to accomplish between now and then, but I can only imagine the amount of happiness and fun I’ll have with a little Tamar or Vince on the scene!