All Posts tagged: Joan & Melissa: Joan Knows Best?
Joan on Episode 8: Get the F$&k Out
I’m still a couple of years away from sponge baths and soft foods, but I feel that Melissa is sacrificing parts of her life because she feels the need to take care of me.
Melissa on Episode 8: Get The F$&k Out
In 1844 the poet Thomas Haynes Bayly wrote, “Absence makes the heart grow fonder.” I didn’t know that Thomas Haynes Bayly lived with my mother.
Joan on Episode 7: Blue Balls
Meanwhile, Melissa and I thought it would be a great idea to sell matzo ball soup out of a food truck – we’re marketing it as lunch for the “Jew-on-the-Go.”
Melissa on Episode 7: Blue Balls
One of the things my mother and I ARE known for is marketing... and in less time than you can say “food truck,” we were on the road with “Joan & Melissa’s Blue Balls.”
Joan on Episode 6: Addicted to Daily Doubles
"Melissa delivered a wonderful, moving speech and Cooper and I were so proud of her. I even forgot to steal some of the silverware to hock down at the pawn shop."
Melissa on Episode 5: Turning Tricks
"I feel like Alice in Wonderland, like I fell into a hole and when I woke up everything was crazy and everyone was mad as hatter."
Joan on Episode 5: Turning Tricks
"In the span five days I aggravated my daughter, upset a bird handler and alienated a major Broadway star.Right about now, I’m the one whom they’d all like to saw in half."
Joan on Episode 4: Pill Popper
"So, I did what any self-respecting celebrity would do – I took drugs."
Melissa on Episode 4: Pill Popper
There’s only one thing worse than seeing my mother hurting – and that’s seeing my son hurting. That’s what happened this week, and it really hurt me."
Melissa on Episode 3: Dog Days of Fashion Week
Remember the classic Seinfeld episode with the close-talker? That’s what this week was like for me – EVERYTHING was in-your-face. Some of it was good, some of it was bad, but all of it was THIS CLOSE, all the time.
The worst thing was my Mom having to put her dog, Max, down. Max was…