I’m about to be a mother. I’m 8 months pregnant and anxious to meet my baby girl. The only thing I am most scared of when thinking about junior year is the ACT. I’m really a lot more nervous than I am scared. I am most excited about the end of junior year, lol. The ending of junior year only means that a few months after that I will be a senior!
My goals in life are to finish high school (and finish on time) and to try my best to give my daughter the best life I possibly can.
For me, peer pressure is definitely not tough to handle because at school I don’t hang around with just anybody. I surround myself with others that have the same morals for themselves as I do and who are concerned about what is best for them.
I have discovered that I am definitely more forward and blunt than I thought I was. I am better; I’m not as shy as I was a while ago. I think I’ve finally learned that you have to have a voice to get by in this world.
I really value advice from my mother. I was never really that close to my dad in order to ask him for advice on anything. I really value my mom’s opinion and what she has to say mainly because while growing up she was the only one who ever told me right from wrong. She was the only one I HAD to listen to because I grew up as the oldest and only girl in my household. I had no one else to talk to about girl type things like every other little girl. The only one I could identify with was my mother.
This particular episode was quite the emotional roller-coaster for me. As little girls we always imagine that we’ll meet a great guy, have a fairytale wedding and start a family. While I got the great guy and the fairytale wedding, I never would have thought that when it was time to have a baby, I would have a problem. Knowing that I couldn’t produce a baby for me and Vince the natural way at first was really disheartening for me. Was I going to be the reason why Vince would never be able to be a father? The thought of that being the case was killing me, so I knew we had to figure something out.
Luckily, nowadays there are procedures to help couples like us. I had to put my trust in God that everything would work out, and so far everything is on track. Unlike most couples, our first round of fertilization was successful! The doctor extracted 6 follicles, 5 of them were good, and 4 of them fertilized (2 boys and 2 girls). Once they fertilized the eggs, I then had to decide whether or not I wanted to implant the eggs immediately, or freeze them for later.
So there I was, feeling absolutely CRAZY after being pumped with synthetic hormones twice a day, for two weeks. My hormones were a complete MESS…mood swings, I couldn’t get out the bed, I had gained a ton of weight, and I felt like I was just sitting in a chair staring at myself all day long. I just didn’t feel like me, and I knew that wasn’t the way I wanted to start my pregnancy. Within two weeks I had gone from regular Tamar to an emotional wreck-filled with enough hormones to make my body think I was four months pregnant. I honestly just wasn’t ready emotionally or physically, so in the freezer they went.
What’s interesting is that as CRAZY as the process was and as CRAZY as I felt, the fact that at some point (possibly late next year) I’ll be able to carry and have me and Vince’s baby is such a wonderful feeling. I know that I have a ton of stuff I want to accomplish between now and then, but I can only imagine the amount of happiness and fun I’ll have with a little Tamar or Vince on the scene!
It’s a challenge trying to juggle motherhood with being a working mom. There are not enough hours in the day to complete everything I set out to do. Unfortunately there are times that I have to chose, and let me tell ya, it isn’t easy. I love my children so much and want to provide for them; however, in doing so I miss many events, parties, smart phrases and most important, I miss them growing up. What matters most to me is that I don’t miss the most important things FOR my kids – like the first day of school, a first recital or graduating from pre-k and kindergarten. I remember as a child how I felt my very first day of school. I was nervous and wanted Mommie and Daddy to hold my hand the entire day until the bell rang. LOL.
What got me through the day was knowing one, that my parents were there for me, walking me to my very first classroom and two, they were there when I got home! I couldn’t wait to share my first experience with anyone who would listen…especially Mommie! There is just something special about having your mother there to console, hold and listen to you, and I am never going to deprive my beautiful children from having those moments that we will always cherish. I can’t deny that it is definitely a challenge, but I wouldn’t exchange motherhood for anything in the world. And if I don’t protect them and speak for them, who will?
Are you a mom who wants to create a more “family-friendly” world where children, parents, and businesses thrive?
If you said yes, you might be interested in volunteering with MomsRising.org, “where moms and people who love them go to change the world.” The issues they work on are:
M – Maternity/Paternity Leave
O – Open Flexible Work
T – TV We Choose and Other After-School Programs
H – Healthcare for All Kids
E – Excellent Childcare
R – Realistic and Fair Wages
S– Sick Days, Paid
In addition to volunteering, you can also get involved with MomsRising by:
Which of the seven M.O.T.H.E.R.S issues are you the most passionate about?