My name is Tricia. I’m 19 years old and a nursing student. Planning my wedding was an absolute hell. With a two month time crunch, drama with everyone around me, and vendors being complete morons, it’s lucky I made it to my wedding and everything went off great.

I knew I wanted a huge wedding party so I had to make sure I had five bridesmaids that would all be skinny. This backfired because then I looked fat in my pictures next to a bunch of twigs. My mom was a huge obstacle to deal with during the wedding planning and the invitation list from my in-laws never ended, so I didn’t get what I originally wanted.

When Jesse and I booked the Grand in August, we realized the wedding was coming in a few months, January. We were like “oh my god, how do we pull this off so quick?” Doing all my wedding planning was absolute hell. Almost all my vendors were an hour away and I was driving two hours each day in traffic for two months just to set everything up. I was going absolutely bonkers trying to get 50 million things to come together for six hours of my life and no friends or vendors were reliable at all.

If I could change one thing about my wedding, it’d definitely be how many people didn’t show. I also wished I remembered more of it! Oh and a word of advice, don’t use a veil that covers your face. We spent so much money and so many people flaked which caused a lot of schisms in the family.

Jesse and I haven’t gone on a honeymoon yet. We might not in fact. Trying to recover from a $20,000 wedding and buying a house at the same time leaves little money for anything extravagant. We wanted to go on an Alaskan cruise but we ended up doing a ton of mini honeymoons like monster jam and road trips.

The first stretch of marriage is hell. Expectations get higher and higher. I don’t know who came up with this “newlywed phase” crap. When the bills hit and life keeps moving, you don’t have that much time to smell the roses.

I can’t wait to have children! Our friends think it’ll happen in the next six months. Jesse wants to wait, but I control the baby making.

It was absolute hell filming the show. I thought I was going to drive my car right off a cliff. Good experience, but out of all the weeks to ruin in your life, the week before your wedding isn’t a good choice. Even after the cameras left Jesse and I were getting into screaming matches and I’m still paying for hitting him in the head and going to a club.

It was super fun to share this with an audience because there is no faking the crap that goes on before weddings. This is all real crap that people threw at me. I hope they can learn from my mistakes. Yellow is not white! Even though I’ve repeatedly said I wouldn’t do it again, I’d love to…but I think Jesse would leave me if we did. I’m lucky we even got married. For the record, I’m not that crazy, everyone else is, it’s all about making me happy…oh and behind closed doors I’m getting hell for that week.

The Bridezillas week was hell and a good learning experience, but I’m afraid to watch my own episode because the wounds are too fresh. Oh and I recommend going to Vegas for a wedding; short and sweet…cut out the bull.

Welcome back to another week of high-class fun with our Bridezillas! This Sunday, we meet Danni and her fiancee Marlon. They both work in the radio biz, although Danni is really a self-proclaimed pageant queen, and we’re sure her “I come first and don’t care about others’ feelings” attitude has won her multiple Miss. Congeniality titles 🙂

Marlon is not the only one that gets the privilege of Danni’s demands, her forced-to-be wedding coordinator, Raechell must also bow to her whim as the bride insists she be referred to only as “the most beautiful bride”, demands a wedding eve curfew for her guests and swears to kick out anyone to dares to bring a child to her big day-we can’t wait for her reception!

Do you remember Tricia? Ha…as if you could forget. This charmer is heading to the tattoo parlor with her betrothed so they can get matching ink on their ring fingers. Just one problem- Tricia has no knuckle…as if we needed her to be any grosser. But Jesse sure loves her, as he gets his tattoo and listens to Tricia tell him she’s the best he can get…somehow we doubt that.

Moving along, Danni is meeting with her five brothers and pouring on the fake waterworks to get them to do whatever she wants. They reluctantly agree (which is good because she threatens to choke them otherwise) and all is well until the boys make turkey burgers and forget to save one for the hungry bride! A tantrum ensues until Danni is fed-only after claims that she is dying of starvation…somehow we doubt that too…and we doubt it even more the next day. This sweetheart goes for her cake tasting (10 of them by the way) and insists on eating both her portion and those of her two bridesmaids.  It’s no wonder that her dress doesn’t fit her when she attempts to squeeze into it! Not a pretty picture…

Back to your favorite bro-hoe, Tricia-she’s freaking out at the hair salon and demanding money back for a bad dye job. Now really Tricia, your hair is two-toned, what exactly does a GOOD dye job look like to you? Anyway, we think she has bigger problems when she makes the decision to pick up her bridal bouquets ON THE WAY to the wedding. Yes, that’s correct-nothing like waiting ’til the last minute!

Well, all seems to be fine when bro and bro-hoe are finally walking down the aisle…assuming you define ‘fine’ as a wedding where nobody shows up and the people who are there are drunk and ‘vomit burping’. Such class. Such class.

That does it for this week, but just wait until next Sunday! Danni is in the corner talking to herself and new bride Suzy is cursing out everyone, including her mother…so sweet.

Happy Wedding Sunday-and what would it be without more drama from Bridezillas?! We start this week by meeting Danyelle and Will; they met in high school, although he says she was way too skinny for him at first…interesting-we usually hear the opposite complaint from our BZ grooms. Anyway, she’s bossy, spoiled and demanding and these two admit that although they love each other, they don’t like each other. Sounds like a recipe for true bliss to us!

On our first outing with Danyelle she meets with her bridesmaids to tell them all that they’re fat and uses a bat to point out their flaws, that is SO nice of her! But the real chaos happens when two of them are arrested (yes ARRESTED) on their way out for a suspected stolen vehicle offense. Ok, so they have the wedding in prison, no biggie right?

Now we get to see Tricia again! She’s not in jail, but she probably should be after she body slams her maid of honor in front of her little girl! The baby is crying, Ashley is bruised and all this bride cares about are the crooked feathers on her centerpieces. Surprisingly, this MOH still agrees to accompany her BZ friend to the store to buy “Pimp Cups” and other trashy bridal “items” and even pays for them after Tricia’s fiancee, Jesse, refuses to give her cash…wonder if it’s because she asked by burping in his ear?

Danyelle isn’t happy either. She’s visiting the family friend who nicely agreed to provide FREE wedding arrangements for this lovely bride…but the bride is NOT satisfied. She hates the bouquets and destroys everything before storming out and promising to “choke the living daylights” out of poor Linda for threatening the perfection of her big day. What a doll 😉

Back to the demure Tricia, who is getting ready for her bachelorette party! Off to the store, where we’re forced to watch her try on several ill-fitting and super tight black dresses for her celebration. Oh and what a celebration it is…the booze is flowing as the bachelorette gets a little TOO close with her female friends. She IS marrying Jesse right? Or maybe not…since he is so angry at her for the partying ways that he won’t even speak to her when she gets home! Hmm…maybe this little darling is finally getting a taste of her own medicine.

Hooray! It’s Danyelle’s wedding day 🙂 and it’s raining…and there’s no power at the venue…a sign? No, couldn’t be. All works out eventually; the smiling couple are able to exchange vows without darkness and our Bridezilla shares one last learning, that if she were to do it again, she would have killed someone-just to get it out of her system. Charming.

The crazy continues next week when we meet Danni, who insists everyone tell her how thin she is at all times, and our fave Bro and Bro-Hoe get hitched!

Welcome back! This week on Bridezillas we begin with the return of our own tearful Gloria, who is still fighting with her mom. Starting off at the shoe store, the 1970’s doily-clad Gloria Sr. embarrasses her daughter once again by doing the hustle down the aisles before finally deciding on a pair of pumps for the big day. It’s nothing but drama for these two, as always…

BUT now we get to meet Tricia and her fianceé Jesse! Tricia is a self-proclaimed “bro-ho”…wait, you don’t know what that means? Allow us to explain! A “bro-ho” is a ‘lady’ who loves ‘meat-head guys who ride motorcycles’, got it now? Oh, and they also have two-toned hair. And want their wedding theme to be dirt bikes, beer and partying. So essentially, everything NOT associated with class. Tricia is a delight-her favorite pastimes include giving people the finger, burping and cursing at Jesse…and when he purchases a sub-par topper for their cake, she responds by running it over with her car. A perfectly logical response, obviously.

And if Tricia’s freak-out wasn’t enough for you, don’t worry, we still have Gloria. She’s at the flea market complaining about her ripped veil and yelling at the shop owner until she gets a new one. We can’t imagine why a veil from a flea market would be less than perfect, can you?

Of course, it doesn’t end there for Tricia. Apparently fancying herself a pedicurist, we get to witness her tackling her groom-to-be, as she insists on cutting his toenails for him. How romantic…he is so lucky to have her! Then, they are off to exchange Jesse’s wedding band (Tricia hates it) and it’s a lovely car ride as the bride smacks her future hubby repeatedly and threatens to poison her maid of honor with cyanide…her sweet energy is just boundless!

We are almost happy to see Gloria again…almost. She is putting together her measuring spoon (?) favors and of course crying hysterically when all of her help takes off. So sad for the charming bride, it’s a good thing she has a day of pampering planned now! She and mom are off to the salon to get their nails done…Gloria is of course screaming because she is kept waiting and mom is screaming because her legs are burning her…what is WITH these two??

Alas, it’s Gloria and Eric’s special day! The limo ride is torturous (Gloria refuses to smile or relax) and the best man is late (Gloria has ANOTHER panic attack). But it’s after the lovely ceremony, at the reception, when the real ‘partying like it’s 1999’ ensues and mom decides to make a love connection-with her first cousin. Ok. Um…GROSS. Good luck with that Gloria…

If you thought this week was fun, just WAIT until next Sunday! Our fave ‘bro-ho’ gets married and we meet Dani, whose bridesmaids are going to jail! Yay!