Women Behind Bars Tuesdays at 10p|9c

Heather Frango


First, I’m in a maximum security /medical facility and I’m doing day for day, earning no good time! I am here at FCCW because of my own actions. I was at VCCW, a medium security facility but I got into trouble and refused to do T.C. (therapeutic community). Here, there are many vocational classes, self-help programs, medical, etc. I recently attended anger management on Wednesdays, which I completed; I also attended substance abuse, which I also completed. Both in late of ’08! I am currently just leaving segregation, I am housed in S.L.U., structure living unit. I am waiting for a bed to become open in general population, which I was to be released to two weeks ago. So, I am locked down with no electrical outlets 22 hours a day with one roommate. For entertainment, we play cards, read and watch inmates walk straight lines to and from chow! In population, from 9am to 9pm Monday through Thursday the dayroom is open, you can shower, use the phone, play cards, etc. On Sundays 8-9pm is dayroom time, Saturdays is 8:30-11pm, Friday is 9am-11pm.! You kinda occupy yourself. On a personal level, life is stressful inside of myself. I blame myself on many levels for many things. I miss Jonathan very much and have A LOT of “God” questions. I miss Connor and since I haven’t seen him since March ’08, it’s hard on me. But I do get to call him once a week. I get mail once or twice a week also! Well the best advice I have is this, don’t get caught if you have to brush the law! It’s a misery filled miserable place. It’s a no-win situation. As females, we get no respect, though females DO NOT have unity. Most females are too afraid of being locked down! So there’s NO progress to be made. There is no comfort to be had. You’ll go crazy. The men have tobacco still; have tons of vendors, better food, all kinds of things. We get no respect because only one or two can’t earn it alone! We have no voices as individuals. When we do voice, we’re seen as nagging, whining, complainers. There have been several positive moments in prison. I have made a few good friends. I have met one person in particular that will be part of me, my heart forever. I have laughed more this last year than I have in 10 years! I have dealt with a lot of my own misery that I’ve gained all through life, in this time here in prison! I’ve learned to depend on God. Something I’d never do before. I’ve let go of a lot of my anger and rage. I’ve completed classes! Got my GED! I miss my freedom, my kids, my grandparents, my mom, cigarettes (honestly), real food, Dr. Pepper, having a stove, and a bath tub with bubbles! All those little things in life that most people take for granted daily. I have a 12 and a half year sentence but am only serving 3 years. The rest was suspended. At first I said, “Oh God” but when I did intake at FCCW and met some ‘lifers’ I thought differently! I said 3 years is nada compared to 600 plus years. But, yes, I had trouble adjusting – and soon I’ll have to adjust again to going home. I’m terrified of that. Where will I get a job? I’m a felon! Will I come back here? I hope not! Can I get my son back? I hope so! Will people look and stare at me with disgust? Probably. I have so many regrets. Too many to list here. When I get released by June 1, 2009 I have plans. I’ll go straight to my mom’s house where I’ll reside and go see Jonathan at his resting place, then go to Connor’s (my son). We’ll get something to eat together, play ball or cars, whatever he wants to do. I’ll go to see my grandparents, drink a Dr. Pepper and stare at the stars all night. Maybe I’ll sleep on a lounge chair in the backyard. I have chose to NOT have the same friends as I once did. I NEED to stay sober, in every manner!